Congratulations! At this point, you probably have a lot of intense feelings and your brain is working overtime planning the future. That is how I felt when my boys were on the way. Being a new stay-at-home dad is a rewarding job, but it also requires some adjustments.
The obvious benefit is that you get to spend more time with your kid(s) which means more bonding sessions that mean the world to them. And since my kids are still little, they really look up to me. So being a stay-at-home Dad is definitely something I recommend to other dads who are in a position to do so.
It doesn’t have to be difficult. If you follow these simple steps, then you should be able to enjoy your new role as a stay-at-home dad without any regrets. It gives you the opportunity to spend more time with the family and also allows you to take care of your own needs. As a result, you’ll be healthier and happier.
1. Be Prepared
Make sure you have all the supplies you’ll need before the baby arrives. Have diapers, wipes, bottles, clothes, toys, etc. ready to go when he/she does arrive. Also, make sure you have plenty of food stocked away so you won’t have to worry about running out during the day.
2. Give Them Space to Grow
Don’t expect your kid to do everything at once or be the same as other babies. It is easy to make comparisons between children, especially siblings however it has been my experience that kids do things at their own pace.
3. Get Some Sleep!
Sleep is important for both mom and dad. Make sure you get enough. If dads don’t have enough sleep they tend to be grumpy and cranky. Pro tip: Nap when the baby naps.
4. Don’t Stress Out Too Much
It’s ok if things don’t go exactly how you planned. It happens to everyone. Find a quiet space and try to regain your composure. The most important thing is to take care of yourself and your family. Take time to relax and enjoy being with your kids.
5. Enjoy Your Kids
These are the days so enjoy your children while they are little. To borrow from Helen Hays “Childhood is a short season”. In fact, from zero to eighteen years is 6574.36 days so make them count. Go play with them.
6. Keep Up With Their Development
If you want to know what your child is thinking or feeling then watch them closely. Hang out and spend time with them. Pay attention to their body language and facial expressions. When your children trust you and a strong connection is established it is much easier to get your kids to tell you what’s going on.
7. Something New Dads Should Know
There is so much about being a dad that isn’t often discussed. Some guys think because the connection between women and babies is so strong that the man’s role is somehow less important or significant. That couldn’t be farther from the truth, gentlemen.
In fact, the connection between a father and child actually starts pre-birth. It’s true, babies can hear voices while they are still in the womb. One study even suggests that “caring for children awakens a parenting network in the brain—even turning on some of the same circuits in men as it does in women. (Parenting rewires male brain).” It appears there are some powerful things happening between dads and babies.
That doesn’t mean it’s all fun and games. We are still human and nothing is ever perfect with kids so having psychological tools available is important. For me, it can be the difference between getting upset vs. easily managing a difficult time. Here’s one good example of having tools.
I like to lean on this idea from a book by the late Jean L. Briggs about native people and how “traditionally, the Inuit saw yelling at a small child as demeaning. It’s as if the adult is having a tantrum; it’s basically stooping to the level of the child.” This is such a great way to think about our roles as parents and is a good example of how we can reframe our entire thought process.
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